Candleroller: Part 2

Dear Far Far Away,

After I took Snow back to the Kingdom, I invited her straight into my bed, because the pillows needed plumping. Next thing I know, she's stripping off and crawling in. What sort of man does she take me for? I'm a Prince!

She fled, leaving her clothes behind and only she stole my crimson gown on the way out. Naturally, I screamed in an overly dramatic tone and pranced out of my bedroom in a flamboyant manner. I followed her footsteps down to the stable where I found that Mr. Clompy was an accomplice all along and had fled the scene with Snow astride. The fiend!

Anyway, that was half an hour ago and although I'm loving the single life again, Daddy is already pestering me about finding a new woman. I keep telling him that Fernando can cook and sweep, but Daddy wasn't pleased when Fernando showed off his skills by polishing the throne. Perhaps Fernando should have waited until Daddy had finished in the bathroom.

Anyway, Daddy finally relented and is letting me throw a ball for everyone in the Kingdom. ROLLER DISCO! Me and the girls have already decided on a colour scheme! The girls will be in all pink with stunning polished glass slippers and the boys will be in dapper blue suits with ruffles around the neck. Fernando has already picked out his trousers that make his bum look divine.

Finally, everyone should arrive in horse-drawn carriages, and prizes will be awarded for those carriages that look most like a vegetable. The only reason for the carriage is so that plebians don't turn up and dirty my sparkly glitter-covered dance hall.

The reason for it looking like a vegetable? Fernando's idea - he's such a gem.



No comments: