Dear Far Far Away,
I'm undercover, hiding for my life and bloody freezing. That bastard Prince took me away from my tiny friends and only revealed that Fernando wasn't the butler when I awkwardly suggested copulating. Well, sod being his maid, I thought. I have to get back to my Kingdom.
I left on that drunken stallion, which if I'm honest was probably the best thing for the horse too. I'm guessing he was just days from becoming dyed in pink and coated in silk ribbons. Problem was, he didn't seem too concerned and just outside the Kingdom did all he could to give my position away by relentlessly whinnying next to the nearest tavern. In the end, I gave him away to a strange old lady.
Anyway, I've sought refuse in a forest just outside the Kingdom in an attempt to flee all the King's horses and all the King's men who are hunting me down like a wild beast.
Luckily, a strange ovular-shaped fellow – I believe he was called Numpty - has taken pity on me and is just ensuring that the coast is clear before he takes me back to his house for a bit of warmth and a much-needed cup of tea. He offered me omelette, but I wasn't sure about his egg supplier.
Anyway, I hope he gets back soon because I still only have the Prince's dressing gown which is a useless disguise in a forest.
Yours,
Snow.
I'm undercover, hiding for my life and bloody freezing. That bastard Prince took me away from my tiny friends and only revealed that Fernando wasn't the butler when I awkwardly suggested copulating. Well, sod being his maid, I thought. I have to get back to my Kingdom.
I left on that drunken stallion, which if I'm honest was probably the best thing for the horse too. I'm guessing he was just days from becoming dyed in pink and coated in silk ribbons. Problem was, he didn't seem too concerned and just outside the Kingdom did all he could to give my position away by relentlessly whinnying next to the nearest tavern. In the end, I gave him away to a strange old lady.
Anyway, I've sought refuse in a forest just outside the Kingdom in an attempt to flee all the King's horses and all the King's men who are hunting me down like a wild beast.
Luckily, a strange ovular-shaped fellow – I believe he was called Numpty - has taken pity on me and is just ensuring that the coast is clear before he takes me back to his house for a bit of warmth and a much-needed cup of tea. He offered me omelette, but I wasn't sure about his egg supplier.
Anyway, I hope he gets back soon because I still only have the Prince's dressing gown which is a useless disguise in a forest.
Yours,
Snow.
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1 comment:
They say that beauty is only skin deep, I think in humpty's case it is true. Try and stop him sitting on walls he is fundamentally entirely the wrong shape.
I cant see this story lasting too long somehow
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