The Apple Princess and the Septet of Tiny People: Part 22

Dear Far Far Away,

I woke up this morning and found two random bodies right next to the garden. Equally weirdly, the beautiful woman had decided to spend a night in the greenhouse.

After checking Mr. Clompy for any signs of blood I decided that he hadn't gone on a drunken midnight killing spree. I boldly knocked on the door of the tiny people's house only to be told to bugger off by the first answer. Undeterred, I tried again.

Six further times I tried, and I was met with different responses each occasion (ranging from someone talking gibberish to someone sneezing in my face) before I finally found clarity from someone with a dazzling smile. He explained that they had accidentally killed two people and poisoned the pretty woman called Snow. The psychopath then laughed. I wet myself a little, but then what did I expect after drinking three pints of champers.

A bespectacled fellow joined the jolly one at the door and told me that I had to take the woman with me, and never speak of their disturbing crimes. They led me to the greenhouse where I tripped over a rock and fell face to face with this Snow woman. I'm such a klutz!

While I was spitting out the disgusting woman germs, she awoke pronouncing me a hero. She'll fit in nicely in my Kingdom then – undoubtedly father would be pleased with my find. I double-checked with the small people that she was good at cooking and cleaning, before loading her on a reluctant and slightly hungover Mr. Clompy.

We rode off a headed straight for the Kingdom, or at least as straight as a horse with a migraine can manage.



1 comment:

Rob Z Tobor said...

I suspect they all have watertight contracts insisting on a happy ending. Well everyone except the horse.

I will be interested to see where we go from here will Snow have to clean and scrub all day only to be saved by her fairy godmother and a pumpkin based mouse and carriage. Stranger things have happened.