Dear Far Far Away,
Ever since I got into my career 20 years ago, I realised that I had the perfect job. After completing my training, I was assigned to watch over a young girl who was destined for great things, but whose life was turned upside down on the death of her father.
Of course, that girl is Cinderella. Aged 5, her father was supposed to let her know that he'd been paying monthly for a Fairy Godmother but it didn't seem like he had because she'd never needed me before. Still, I continued taking the money because I care about the girl. That, and I needed to fund my lavish cruising lifestyle.
Today I was just lying around on the deck of Santa Wishoria - patiently waiting for a call from Cinderella while a servant boy fanned me with a palm leaf – when she called! Not by telephone, mind (we fairies aren't that technologically disadvantaged), she asked for me in her prayers. I think that wish will stay with me forever:
Hello? Is this thing on? Right, Fairy Godmother, I've just remembered you've been taking money from me for years (why have I never spent this money and moved out of the cellar?) and I need your help now so you'd better bloody well sort me out. There's a disco and I want to go. Sort me out a carriage. Thanks.
PS it must be vegetable-shaped.
PPS teach the mice to sew, they need something to do, rather than chewing on my toenails.
Emotional, no? Better go and sort her out I suppose.
Yours,
Fairy Godmother.
Ever since I got into my career 20 years ago, I realised that I had the perfect job. After completing my training, I was assigned to watch over a young girl who was destined for great things, but whose life was turned upside down on the death of her father.
Of course, that girl is Cinderella. Aged 5, her father was supposed to let her know that he'd been paying monthly for a Fairy Godmother but it didn't seem like he had because she'd never needed me before. Still, I continued taking the money because I care about the girl. That, and I needed to fund my lavish cruising lifestyle.
Today I was just lying around on the deck of Santa Wishoria - patiently waiting for a call from Cinderella while a servant boy fanned me with a palm leaf – when she called! Not by telephone, mind (we fairies aren't that technologically disadvantaged), she asked for me in her prayers. I think that wish will stay with me forever:
Hello? Is this thing on? Right, Fairy Godmother, I've just remembered you've been taking money from me for years (why have I never spent this money and moved out of the cellar?) and I need your help now so you'd better bloody well sort me out. There's a disco and I want to go. Sort me out a carriage. Thanks.
PS it must be vegetable-shaped.
PPS teach the mice to sew, they need something to do, rather than chewing on my toenails.
Emotional, no? Better go and sort her out I suppose.
Yours,
Fairy Godmother.
1 comment:
I have to say that Cinderella is a little more abrupt than I was expecting. . . I would hate to be a prince with a glass slipper turning up at her house....
Post a Comment