Candleroller: Part 9

Dear Far Far Away,

Oh. My. God. Me and Ana have a date! With the prince! Well, its a fancy dress party, but he personally invited us which is pretty exciting! I picked my favourite pink dress, but I decided against glass slippers because walking on glass at my weight is pretty dangerous. I'm going to accessorise with my huge gold “D” shaped necklace.

Mum said once we get to the party we need to head straight for the Prince (“as the crow flies”, she said) and then quickly ask for his hand in marriage. Before he has a chance to say anything I'm going to seal the deal by sticking my tongue down his throat.

Of course, at the wedding Ana will have to be my chief bridesmaid. We'll go and visit the gambling capital of the world and flirt with a few punters so we don't have to spend any money. Then we'll return slightly hungover and hopefully without an impulse wedding.

My only concern is that during the wedding Ana will steal the show. I mean her bum looks far better than mine in a white dress so I'll have to get her to tone it down a bit.

I know he's a Prince and everything, but when we're married he's going to dote on me. Obviously I won't be working at the chip shop any more, so I'll have to get him to bring me burgers in bed so that I can keep my beautiful greasy complexion.



1 comment:

Rob Z Tobor said...

WOW you work at the chip shop that changes everything. That Prince would be a fool not to say Yes. Much like Scotland, they did not say Yes and it's full of chip shops.