Dear Far Far Away,
I dread to think how the Kingdom will be handled once my idiot son gets his mitts on the throne. Despite his protestations about needing an early night to "ensure one's face remains wrinkle free", I accompanied him out into the night to find the thief who stole his horse.
Fortunately I was well aware that the perpetrator was that poor cellar-bound girl Cinderella, so I subtly dragged my son by his ear to her stepmother's house. On arrival, the horse was nowhere to be seen, but I refused to turn down this golden opportunity to "arrest" Cinderella, rescuing her from her prison and finally providing the Kingdom with a Queen-in-waiting by marrying off my son.
Well, Prince tried his hardest to screw it up, first insisting that the despicable stepmother was guilty and ordering her execution. As much as I love a good hanging, I feared my son would be tempted to use tinsel instead of rope so I overruled his judgement.
He then he tried to indict the stepsisters by forcing the glass skate on their fat clammy toes but I feared the palace executioner did not have enough rope to stretch around their necks. Naturally my immediate pardoning was welcomed as an act of benevolence.
The pillock then insisted on producing a work contract for poor Cinderella. Unfortunately for him, he mentioned that pay was as little as he could get away with, which she astutely assumed was more than the nothing she was currently receiving. She signed, and came back with us, much to his dismay.
As an added bonus, on our journey back she explained her hatred of fairies, which I hope will further get my son out of his "phase".
Yours,
King.
I dread to think how the Kingdom will be handled once my idiot son gets his mitts on the throne. Despite his protestations about needing an early night to "ensure one's face remains wrinkle free", I accompanied him out into the night to find the thief who stole his horse.
Fortunately I was well aware that the perpetrator was that poor cellar-bound girl Cinderella, so I subtly dragged my son by his ear to her stepmother's house. On arrival, the horse was nowhere to be seen, but I refused to turn down this golden opportunity to "arrest" Cinderella, rescuing her from her prison and finally providing the Kingdom with a Queen-in-waiting by marrying off my son.
Well, Prince tried his hardest to screw it up, first insisting that the despicable stepmother was guilty and ordering her execution. As much as I love a good hanging, I feared my son would be tempted to use tinsel instead of rope so I overruled his judgement.
He then he tried to indict the stepsisters by forcing the glass skate on their fat clammy toes but I feared the palace executioner did not have enough rope to stretch around their necks. Naturally my immediate pardoning was welcomed as an act of benevolence.
The pillock then insisted on producing a work contract for poor Cinderella. Unfortunately for him, he mentioned that pay was as little as he could get away with, which she astutely assumed was more than the nothing she was currently receiving. She signed, and came back with us, much to his dismay.
As an added bonus, on our journey back she explained her hatred of fairies, which I hope will further get my son out of his "phase".
Yours,
King.
1 comment:
A happy ending . . . . . I do like happy endings, OK it was not quite what i thought would happen but then that is the skill of all good fairy tales.
Well Done
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