Fragile Eggman: Part 2

Dear Far Far Away,

The strangest thing happened today. There I was, sat on the wall of the Kingdom, minding my own business when a fugitive showed up wearing the most bizarre jailbird clothing.

As she stood there, panting and sweating from every pore, I thought to myself that this is a woman who might just be desperate enough to become my wife. If only my hard-boiled mother could see me now!

A quick cup of tea later and she relaxed a bit, revealing that she is being chased by poachers, or something like that. She seemed overjoyed when I offered her a place to rest her head, but only on the condition that I can stop the evil men from chasing her.

Simple enough, I figure. Give them some cock and bull story about how I saw her flee in the opposite direction and it should scramble them for long enough so that I can sneak the woman away to my grotto.

Wish me luck!

Yours,

Humpty

< Part 1 Restart Tale

Fragile Eggman: Part 1

Dear Far Far Away,

I'm undercover, hiding for my life and bloody freezing. That bastard Prince took me away from my tiny friends and only revealed that Fernando wasn't the butler when I awkwardly suggested copulating. Well, sod being his maid, I thought. I have to get back to my Kingdom.

I left on that drunken stallion, which if I'm honest was probably the best thing for the horse too. I'm guessing he was just days from becoming dyed in pink and coated in silk ribbons. Problem was, he didn't seem too concerned and just outside the Kingdom did all he could to give my position away by relentlessly whinnying next to the nearest tavern. In the end, I gave him away to a strange old lady.

Anyway, I've sought refuse in a forest just outside the Kingdom in an attempt to flee all the King's horses and all the King's men who are hunting me down like a wild beast.

Luckily, a strange ovular-shaped fellow – I believe he was called Numpty - has taken pity on me and is just ensuring that the coast is clear before he takes me back to his house for a bit of warmth and a much-needed cup of tea. He offered me omelette, but I wasn't sure about his egg supplier.

Anyway, I hope he gets back soon because I still only have the Prince's dressing gown which is a useless disguise in a forest.

Yours,

Snow.

Part 2 >

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